Extracted….

Exercise: Find the good in bad

Target: Erasing self-doubt

The saying “Every cloud has a silver lining” is used so often, there’s got to be some truth in it.

For instance, if you’re stuck in traffic, enjoy the fact that you have time to listen to your favourite CD. If your other half can’t see you on Saturday night, be happy that you can use that time to catch up with your friends or stay at home and give yourself a facial.

The way you describe past experiences when talking about them with others can also say alot about you. Don’t let negative thoughts linger longer than the situation itself. If you’re always bringing bad experiences or past hurts into the picture, then that’s what people will remember about you. Instead, talk about what you took away from the experience and how it’s made you a better person.

Sometimes, we leave ourselves at the mercy of what other people think about us.

People seek self-esteem through pleasing others or by performing to gain approval or love. But what they need to do is work on loving and approving themselves first. Celebrate your own successes and remind yourself of all the times you’ve done well!

When confronting new challenges, remember that your initial reaction will not always be the right one; we often jump to conclusions without having the facts. Your other half may be tired from work and is in a bad mood, but you think he/she doesn’t like you right now or loves you less or that you’ve done something wrong. Before taking it personally, ask yourself whether there could be another explanation for their behaviour – often enough, there will be.

Exercise: Learn from your mistakes

Target: Life Experience Skills.

There is no failure, only feedback. Even if it’s a really negative situation you’ve found yourself in, with time you’ll be able to pick out things to learn from. Personal growth often stems from painful experiences.

You need to be able to learn from what’s happened, look at things in a different light so you can offer various solutions and why you’d do it that way. Then roll up your sleeves and get to work without complaining or self-pitying.

Exercise: Play the Karma Card

Target: Respect and Pride

If you put out positive thoughts and energy, the belief is that you’ll get it right back. It’s really as simple as treating others as you’d like to be treated – smile more, make friendly conversation and give compliments generously. It will not only make you feel good but chances are others will feed off your character as well. We get so caught up in things but all anyone really wants is to feel happy and connected – no one enjoys feeling anxious.

Learning how and when to praise yourself is also important. Be kind to others, acknowledge your success but don’t take it for granted, and always reward yourself too – don’t be afraid to praise yourself (just dont go overboard).

Noticing and acknowledging the changes you’ve made are great, and you should always celebrate the changes you’ve made along the way!

I read this off a magazine while having lunch with S today.

I hope this helps you and you and you and you and myself.

Life has many curve balls for us. Let us dodge them together and have fun along the way.

Dispel the bad energy, smile and override it with calmness.

jeff’s new abode.

Race Race Race….!

A second post because it’s a FRIDAY! :D

tis the season to be jolly… la la la la la la.

bottoms up!

Meet Mary.

Meet Mary.

i bought her at 2.95 and she has supported my wrist for long hours without complaining.

this is by far my greatest purchase year 2008.

Wednesday Musings.

Marketing in Relationship

You’re at a car show with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous sales lady. One of your friends goes up to her and point at you. He says “He’s very rich. Marry him.”

That’s Advertising.

Thinking that your friend may not be convincing enough, you walk to the gorgeous sales lady at the car show and say, “I am very rich. Marry Me!”

That’s Direct Marketing.

Instead of saying “I do”, she gives you her telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me. “

That’s Tele-Marketing.

The gorgeous sales lady agreed to a date with you. You open the door for her and offer her a ride home on your jaguar. On the way, you point to your house and say, “By the way, that’s my bungalow. I’m very rich and ready to get married.”

That’s Public Relations.

Seeing your bungalow, Jaguar, Rolex Watch ad Versace clothing, the gorgeous sales lady says, “You are very rich, I want to marry you.”

That’s Brand Recognition.

You tell her, “I’m Rich. But I change my mind about marrying you because you have a mole on your neck.”

That’s Customer Feedback.

Wow. This is University Level.

Speechless.

Mama Canada

“Take time to focus on living and not on doubts and suspicions. I have lived long enough to tell you that life is a thief. It is too short and to dwell on imaginary scenarios is a total waste of time. Negative thoughts are the product of the syaitan. And discard all those unsavory and distrustful thoughts – they are just going to sap every ounce of energy from you.  Quell them and replace them with purposeful dreams.  This is Life.” – Mama

It’s snowing in Canada and mama showed me beautiful pictures of the garden and the snow laden streets.

How wonderful would it be to go to Canada to see the dancing green lights. That will be pure magic.

Cuddle and keep warm with your loved ones.

Look at Adam’s kuchings in snow coats!

The blue crocheted top looks beyond cute. i actually want it for myself.

S and i bought Shelly one top before. she got so annoyed by it.

Also, the top was too big, she looked like she was swimming in it. ha ha ha.

quite funny actually.

Mama sounded like she’s enjoying herself dressing up the pussy cats.

I wanna reach into the computer to hug them.

The Wake

During lunch yesterday, Isrin and I made our way to Ms Lo’s wake. We do not know her on a personal level but I felt so compelled to pay my respects. I feel connected to her on so many levels.

Last trip to Mumbai, I went to The Taj Mahal. I was excited, nervous and everything in between. Many photos to remind me of the splendor of the building. Ms Lo was excited herself. Everytime I read the news with the detailed execution of the senseless militants, I could picture the hotel very vividly in my mind. From the corridors, to the swimming pool, to the courtyard, the swings, the majestic stairwells….

I just started a new journey with S and so did Ms Lo. For her life to be taken like that after a year of her marriage is heartwrenching. No one knows how her husband can still stand up after this painful ordeal. I pray for her and for him. I pray for their families.

With Bangkok’s turmoil, Mumbai, Indonesia constant battle with nature, Iraq…

S and I just have one prayer left unanswered: World Peace.

Wanting Attention

Your need for attention is unbecoming on every single level known to mankind.

I used to empathize. Now? I just feel sorry. I wish I had time to give you a piece of my mind.

But you know, the last time something similar happened, it got backfired so badly, I have decided not to waste my time/effort.

You have been reduced to a pitiful state.

Shalyd

I shall go post up the beautiful dinner pictures S and I took the other time.

Drive with Mum and Sass

The home stretch was filled with laughter and anecdotes of everyday life. The simple things that make my day. Have you stopped recently to pay attention to your mother’s laughter? My heart grins like a primary school kid when I hear my mum laughs. She has the most infectious laughter of all. She tears up and then she turns red like a beetroot. Uncle Karim got a shot of her beetroot face in the engagement video. I love that shot.

Penang/Kedah

I am excited like a happy bunny.

Going back to my roots. Isrin thought I lied when I told her I had a thai grand-mama.

For what it’s worth, I do. My grand-papa was a heart throb. Throb throb throb.

Trinkets of life.

Shelly

She was pretty crazy yesterday. And she has grown so fat it’s not even funny. Hahaha.

I cannot stop laughing when I see her smack herself against the floor like she dropped dead. Beyond cute.

Her new trick now is to run at lightning speed and hide under the carpet/rugs etc and peep her head out for unsuspecting victims.

She is also scratching S’s bag and kicking it vigorously with her hind legs. Meeeoooowwww…

S is feeding her Marigold Yoghurt and she is lapping it up furiously.

We fed her Camembert Cheese. She ate it also.

And HL milk.

Can Kuchings eat all these? Hmmm…..

She also has a new sleeping pattern. She sleeps on her back with her hind paws in the air and her upper body slammed sideways against the floor….

Sigghhh……. I love my pussy cat.

Dad

More emails from him.

وأنا عمري 10 أعوام : أبي ممتاز

وأنا عمري 12 عاما : أبي كان لطيفا

عندما كنت صغيراً

وأنا عمري 14 عاما : أبي بدأ يكون

حساسا جدا

وأنا عمري 16 عاما : أبي لا يمكن أن

يتماشى مع العصر الحالي

وأنا عمري 18 عاما : أبي ومع مرور كل

يوم يبدو كأنه أكثر حدة

وأنا عمري 20 عاما : من الصعب جدا أن

أسامح أبي ، أستغرب كيف استطاعت

أمي

أن تتحمله

وأنا عمري 25 عاما : أبي يعترض على

كل موضوع

وأنا عمري 30 عاما : من الصعب جدا أن

أتفق مع أبى ، هل ياترى تعب جدي من

أبي عندما كان شابا

وأنا عمري 40 عاما: أبي رباني في

هذه الحياة مع كثير من الضوابط،

ولابد أن أفعل نفس الشيء

وأنا عمري 45 عاما : أنا محتار ، كيف

أستطاع أبي أن يربينا جميعا

وأنا عمري 50 عاما: من الصعب التحكم

في أطفالي، كم تكبد أبي من عناء

لأجل أن يربينا ويحافظ علينا

وأنا عمري 55 عاما: أبي كان ذا نظرة

بعيدة وخطط لعدة أشياء لنا ، أبي

كان مميزا ولطيفا.

وأنا عمري 60 عاما: أبي هو الأفضل

جميع ما سبق إحتاج إلى 56 عاما

لإنهاء الدورة كاملة ليعود إلى

نقطة البدء الأولى عند الـ 4 أعوام

فلنحسن إلى والدينا قبل أن يفوت

الأوان ولندع الله أن يعاملنا

أطفالنا أفضل مما كنا نعامل

والدينا

Let’ s be good to our parents before it ‘ s too

late and pray to Allah that our own children will treat us

even better than the way we treated our parents ..

Im not 60 and I think my father is the best.

The craziest thing happened in Bangkok.

I actually cried cause I missed my parents!!!!

I wanted to hug Rayyan!

Can you believe it? First time.

Goodness. I mean, first time that I cried so much!

Hahaha! I was telling mama Canada, and her first reaction, “You of all people???”

Soooo classic.

I emailed him after that. Cried even harder when I read his replies but it made me calmer.

Daddy’s girl. How? Aiyooozzz……..

Media Parties

Many many… need to go hunt for pretty dresses now.

Doughnuts.

let me repeat this once more for all to read.

You can glaze your doughnuts if you want to. Slather it with colourful sprinkles and maybe even a dollop of chocolate but you can’t force other people to eat it.

Thanks. I have enough calories on me already.

If you have none, kindly proceed to stuff yourself with it and be happy. J

Pregnant ladies

Is the government giving out wads of notes to pregnant ladies? Cause I see everyone getting a huge belly!

The only thing im pregnant with is food…… latest with S’s superbly nice thyme mushroom soup. With warm bread. Yummmyyyy……….

Sniffle Sniffles

Coughs coughs. Sniffles sniffles. Bug’s getting to full blown now. The timing can’t get more perfect. 2 new (hopefully 3) accounts, 3 papers, reports and Penang trip!!!!

And bintan (note to the lazy bintan planners. Kindly get your act together. We have to book everything by this wk. thanks. Pref. before fri since im flying out on tt day. Thanks)

We can be happy if we choose to.

“Personal development is about understanding how our mind works, consciously controlling our thoughts and having good patterns. Developing an awareness of how our mind works can improve any and all aspects of our lives as well as our interactions with family and friends.

Our mind and our body co-exist in a symbiotic relationship. Our body is essentially a mechanical tool for our mind. It feeds our mind with essential nutrients to survive and function. It carries our mind wherever it wishes to go. However, we exist in our mind. We can choose what we think about, how we feel and in what way to respond to things around us.

Things aren’t going to get better if you just sit and complain about how unfair life is. If you are unhappy, focus on what would make you happy. Think about the positive outcomes. You have a choice. It all begins with a simple thought.

When good things happen to us, we feel happy. However, don’t rely on the randomness of good events to determine your happiness. Take control. Proactively put yourself in situations where you increase the frequency of good events. Do this by asking what would make you happy and what you need to do to ensure it happens.

You can change your life by choosing what you think. Your mind can influence how your body reacts. It cannot tell the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. If you focused on the positives, even if life isn’t going as you had planned, things will get better. At the very least, you will live a happier life.

Isn’t that better than the alternative? “

Ok. I shall go sit in front of the mirror and appreciate my beautiful folds…..

Marriage Guru

Many marriage education experts caution that when couples believe in the myths of “happily-ever-after” or “love conquers all,” problems in the marital relationship may surface within a short time after the wedding.

Questions before a marriage:

• Why are we getting married? Pregnancy, financial security, loneliness or wanting to get out of the family home are not valid reasons to get married.
• What do you think we’ll be doing in thirty or forty years?
• What do we as a couple want out of life?
• Are you willing to replace the toilet tissue roll?
• What values do you want to bring from your family into our marriage?
• What do you like and dislike about my family?
• Do I have trust issues or feel insecure?
• How important is affirmation to me?
• Am I a jealous person?
• Do you think we listen to one another well?
• What are your expectations about how we will spend our free time?
• Will you clean the toilet?
• How are we going to divide up the household chores?
• Do you need or want time alone?
• Can we each pursue our own interests?
• Do you believe that we should be doing everything together?
• How would you feel if I want a night out with my friends now and then?
• Who is going to be responsible for making sure that bills are paid on time? (I know the ans to this. I AM HORRIBLE at paying bills on time.)
• What are our financial goals?
• Where does our money go?
• Do you consider going to the movies and having a vacation every year a necessity or a luxury?(Vacation is a necessity!!!! Even if it’s in Bintan!!)
• What is your parenting philosophy?
• Will one of us stay home after we have children?
• Do you think we have problems in our relationship that we need to deal with before our wedding?
• Can we both forgive?
• How are we different? (whattt…….)
• Are we both willing to face into difficult areas or do we try to avoid conflict?
• Do you expect or want me to change?

By the time you finish answering the last question in this list, you might not want to get married already. ha ha ha.

Letting Go.

“One’s past is not one’s destiny, and it is self-serving to pretend that it is.” – anonymous.

The past is something you must constantly deal with. You cannot wash it out of your memory, but you can allow yourself to live despite the bad things that may have happened in your life. To date, I still have moments, hours, days etc. when the past bothers me to some extent. The way I try to deal with it is indulging once in a while, perhaps by finding someone I trust to share my feelings with.

Letting go also means letting go of the anger. A lot of times I so filled with anger against the person or event but feel so helpless to do anything about it. When this happens, the anger turn inwards and I become very self-destructive and sometimes this backsplashes to those around me.

I know I have the power to let it go. And I know I no longer need it.

But it keeps visiting.

“Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

Sometimes I pray at night for the betterment of myself and those around me.

I have learned that it is important to understand that forgiveness and letting go won’t happen overnight. After years of bottling it up, it can take a while to develop the willingness to let those emotions go and to allow other positive feelings to override their place.

I know all these. I do.

“It is incredibly empowering when you get to the stage when the past does not control your future anymore.” – anonymous

I lost that power. Im frantically finding it again.

I keep telling myself there’s nothing I can do to change the past. Somehow, today, it is not helping.

“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.” – Johnny Cash.

Mumbai Terror

I cried when I read the news today. The pictures splashed on the papers were all too much. Imagine the pain and anguish the family has to go through. I cannot even begin to express my horror at the tragedy.

Simple things in life

During lunch with adam, as were talking about the terror taking place in Mumbai and other painful things happening in our lives, it dawned on me how fragile life is.

So many a time people chant the mantra to enjoy the simple things in life.

But you get overcome with unexpected curveballs and your focus is drained from enjoying the little things in life.

But life is always about redirecting your focus and getting back on track. It’s a constant battle everyone goes through.

Only you have the power to steer clear of mines.

Family

I cannot stress enough how important family is. Without my family I will never be where I am now. A lot of us take granted of our closed ones.

It’s so therapeutic to write emails to my dad. The sense of calm that washes over me when I read his emails is indescribable.

Every night, I whisper a little prayer for each and every one of my family member and hold them close to my heart before I sleep.

I love them so dearly.

Have you ever had so much love you don’t know how else to express it?

I’m experiencing it right now for them. And all I do sometimes is cry for being so blessed with their presence.

Ask your family members things you want to know, questions that are unanswered before it is too late. Talk to them. Rememebr, our time on earth is borrowed.

Knowledge their time on earth.

Thank them for being them.

Magical moments

I have had many magical moments, spread across the duration of my life. Littlest things to the grandest of scale. I have shared many magical moments with S and they will keep growing, god willing. They are mine to keep and I pray hard he has had magical moments with me too.