more of nothingness…

It’s Tuesday morning and I am bored stiff out of my life. Sitting here at my desk cursing because S is on leave for 3 weeks? I think? Or maybe he’ll only have a flight 3 weeks from now? something along that line. There he is cuddling under the blanket with shelly while im at wooorrrrkkkkkk……. Suuucccckkksssssss.

Freaky incident

Last Thursday, was spending time with mummy. Decided to give her a pair of shoes I bought which were too small, got out to grab them, realized the pair I wore to work was missing a side, went back into the house and asked whether rayyan was playing a prank right… he gave a convincing no. So I dismissed it and watched my mum parade around in my pair. 10 mins told mum I wanted to go look for my missing side, she offered to help. We got out, and lo and behold, the missing side was propped by the door with a folded 2 dollars note inside. We both go freaked out and went back in. I took the money and stashed in a box somewhere. Yesterday? When I got back home? Same pair, same side, same position, another 2 bucks folded inside………………………………………………………………………..

Aromatherapy

I love all sorts, candles, pot pourri, the ones where you have to mix  water and concentrated fragrance….right now, I like the look of fragrance sticks. Body shop is selling the cherry blossom but those cost 79.90 I think. Found a shop in Suntec that sells a bottle at 11.90. not that strong but if you put it in the bathroom, it’ good enough…

Dance Class and Hot Yoga

I want to join… anybody has any recommendations? There’s one at tanjong pagar where Sassy is at but I have to travel there from work and knowing me…… pure lazyness. Guess who’s joining a marathon end of this year?

One fifth Avenue

Conversation at lunch:

“Tell me again why I bought this book?”

“Where did you buy it?”

“Borders.”

“what did you have before that?”

“urrrmmmm…chicken rice.”

I don’t know what’s the conclusion of the convo but it sure cracked me up. I really don’t know why I bought that book. Im not a chic flick fan (not when it comes to book, of course with movies, it’s different, cause sometimes I just want to watch a no brainer…) I spent the last 3 days reading the book and the first 2 chapters is pretty boring. Truth of the matter is, I have 5 other new books I bought months ago but haven’t found the time to read them. One of them was recommended by Zach’s parents, Infidel. Maybe I should read that one instead.

Before you know it, 11^th may is here and I am back to reading about aussie’s history and rules. Dum di dummmm…

4 months of reading Australian case studies and asking myself how applicable it is for me here in Singapore…

Run

I told S that one day im going to get myself that nice british looking baby pram, prop our baby(babies) in them and run everyday. He laughed.

Tsk.

Again, guess who’s running a marathon end of this year…………..

Blackberry Bold

S wants to get it for my birthday this year… I just saw the price in the papers yesterday… dropped like nobody’s business. I think because Storm just recently launched. Should I? or should I not?

Motivation

Running out of them these days! Nothing excites me anymore. Except tennis. Or reading books, or spending time with S or playing shelly. But I need more. Work is that. Just work. Tsk.

How now brown cow. Waaaaannnttt mmmooorrreeee…………

Don’t even have the motivation to cook. Everyone is so consumed with work to attend lunch parties anyways.

Hong Kong

Guess who’s going in June?

Blogging

When I should be responding to my mails and clearing my pile of work…. I have documents sitting prettily on my desk but I cannot find enough motivation.

Timbre@Substation

Went a couple of nights back with S and his friends. The place has changed so much! I usually frequent Timbre@ Artshouse. Know more people there and it doesn’t get to noisy cause the seats are spread out. But at substation, once the band plays, you end up looking at each other’s face. Conversation’s a no-no. But they sell my applejuice, and for that I am happy.

and they sell more food….

Funny thing

Last torture was on Sunday, finally can go on gear 1, second day and I am already dying from the slowness of it all. Does it make sense?

Shelly

Was annoyed with her last night. She cldnt decide whether she wanted to be IN or OUT. She kept meowing and meowing and meowing and the number of times I had to entertain her by opening and closing the bedroom door is insane!

She found this new pet lizard and was busy torturing her last night. Poor thing. Tail all cut off, wriggling away then THUMP! Shelly’s paws on it. yuck.

Tennis

Defo looking forward for tennis tonight. My gear’s all packed, racket waiting to be out of the bag. Adidas stuff all inside. Don’t know how people can wear nike shoes. I feel they get spoilt so easily. S ones, mouth all open… shall go buy him a pair from adidas. High time.

I want to buy new racket.

using head now, want to buy babolat.

actually i was flipping through Shape (i LOVE this magazine), and Head just launched new racket. it looks damn swwwweeettttt.

any ideas anyone?

Oklah. unmotivated me shall go unmotivate herself even more with work. Baaahhh….

ciao ancho dear readers.

the one where cartoon characters had to be brought back from the dead

i like this picture.

it depicts him. messy chaotic environment but him….calm and at peace.

Top 10 sms in my phone

1. “”how’z it? Still in Seletar, u wan nasi lemak? i tapao later for dinner” -S
2. “”no one to b blamed if you did” -Mummy
3. “you better not then!” -Daddy
4. “Muacks, no matter what, i’m proud of my pussy cat”- S
5. “My mom doesn’t let me stay out! She says ghosts will follow me home. Either early or come home at 7am hor.”-Sha (CLASSIC)
6. “Psst, can whisper to my fiancee i love her.” –
7. “Wah! just gave gave me goose bumps ah. Obvious its toyol.” -Adam (don’t ask.)
8. “Cak!” -S (when i get this, he does it all the time, i literally picture him in my head doing the whole deal with the big eyes and mouth agape. super funny.)
9. “Veli Farnie.” -S (Background: he sent me wrong sms “hey dude, b4 i forget whats ur car plate nos.?” to which i replied, “hey bro, dont have car la.”)
10. “Sunday’s paper…J**** said she’ll give past year’s paper. i dun c shit.” -Amalinah (and i can picture her in my head saying this.)

ha ha ha ha.

whats the top 10 sms sitting in your inbox now?

X

mid-week!

Got this in the email this morning from my dad.

Too cute!

it’s mid-week! i can smell the weekends.

can you?

“Its better to be defeated on Principles than to win on lies.” – anonymous

Update on The Fight:  This boring couple kissed and made up yesterday. Well, I hid the verbal scalpel for later use. jeng jeng jeng.

The fight.

BIG MONSTER = ME

Case Study:

S picked me up from work yesterday and we had grand plans for the night that would make both parties happy (extremely). We had dinner first and on the way to execute this grand plan of ours, S teased me slightly about an issue that saw the glimmer of light over the weekend. Being tired and angsty, I started nagging and ranting about my ideologies and beliefs regarding the said issue. Armed with my verbal scalpel, I lacerated all his come-backs. S noticing it wasn’t going to end very well, tried his level best to appease the situation and deviated from the ‘issue’. Not wanting to lose, I continued badgering him till I got so fed-up.

At home, the oral massacre continued. S tried many ways to calm me down but I refused to back down. I became indignant and vomited a bucket full of attacks on him. I started crying and in the midst of antagonizing myself, dripped mucus and tears all over him (still talking). S gave up and stopped hugging me. I continued the lingual wrangle alone. S ceased to entertain me. I then felt rotten, rolled around in bed and asked myself over and over again what a big, mean monster S is. I managed to eventually loll off to sleep at 4.30 in the morning.

I was highly stressed from communicating with dimwits from SMA and having thoughts of failing the 2 papers, I chose to inflict it on my partner. Being a boy, he dropped me a text in the morning to make me feel better but not very smart with his choice of words. I replied this with a barrage of texts that made my thumb rather numb.

Question: What should this displeasing woman have done?

a) Controlled her emotions better and give up the fight when S attempted to appease her in the car.

b) Stopped her verbal diarrhea at home when S attempted again to appease her.

c) Talked about the things affecting her at the very beginning instead of blowing up on issues that are bound to make a volcano erupt.

d) Known when to stop (cue: when she started to wrap all past issues in a sequined bag to whack it senselessly on S.)

e) Been more understanding and attempt to be the person S wants to be with.

f) All of the above.

To my defence, kills the whole plot of feeling rotten really, i have been very bothered the past 2 weeks.

• First and foremost, SMa is really testing my patience. They have tested enough and had to endure several blasts of “Lydia-emails”. Getting whimsical replies annoys me like you wouldn’t imagine. My blood has boiled so much it’s in the curdling stage.

• Secondly, the series of high fever I’ve been experiencing (twice in 7 days). Hovering at 40deg and getting photophobia is extremely scary. Being asked to go for a blood test to determine it’s not meningitis or a viral infection is beyond scary. It has come to a point where I am just waiting for the next wave of attack. Severe pharyngitis succkkkssss.

(during the fight, I should have just reminded myself how patient S was during this period. Bought dinner, skipped tennis, wet toweled my burning head, fed dinner, bought cooling tea, accompanied me to the doc, picked me up from work, endured my whining and whole list of other irritating things that comes with being sick and frustrated.)

• Thirdly, the week where my skills of regurgitating is being applied and tested. I’m not burning the midnight oil but it sure is occupying a huge chunk of my brain. Very draiiinnniiinnngggggg……

Still.

Those are not excuses to badger your partner. No matter how indifferent or reticent he is.

Riddled with guilt, I sent him a text and apologized like a sorry pussy cat. He replied a while later (still not smart with his choice of words) but I realized it’s not worth a fight.

I look up to my parents’ marriage and have attempted to disect it down to the tiniest grain. What works, what doesn’t. What to avoid, what to use. I unknowingly impose this on S and I and expect him to miraculously understand where I’m coming from.

I fail to realize S and I are new at this and we have our own canvas to paint. We have our own paintbrushes and palettes filled with amazing bright hues. We can look upon our parents to learn from their mistakes and to adopt what works but we should never make those our background colours. That is up for us to decide.

Occasionally, we have chosen the wrong colours and mixed up our paintbrushes. But it’s ok because botches on our canvas will just make it unique and produce one that we can call our own. We will one day hang it up and display it proudly. At the end of the day, it’s all about cuddling and laughing with one another on these botches. What doesn’t break you will make you stronger.

“In a marriage, you pick and choose your own battles.” – Ana Ow

Easter Weekend!

Hello readers!

my easter weekend went great! except for the part where S was not in town during the long weekend.

Why marry?

Last year when i broke the news to my close friends on S and our decision (don’t you find it funny that i didnt say, “…..when sham proposed to me!!” ? ), every single one of them asked me tt question. ok, except for a handful….

Sham DID propose… in a funny sort of way. more like after i egged him cause he was being so coy about it i couldnt stand it! i was like, get on with the programme! sometimes guys just need girls. Oh, and the ‘proposal’ took place AFTER the ring’s been purchased. i think we spent months scouting for the right ring, it’s almost hilarious how much time and effort we sacrificed to get tt nice looking rock.

Contrary to popular belief, S was the one who paid more attention on the rock’s details. what colour, what polish, how many cuts and whatever else you have. and then he’ll drag me to the place, and all i do is choose between A or B.

it got to a point where i remembered teasing him and said, “you’re buying me a huge expensive rock for what?” ha ha ha ha. because he still hadn’t proposed!

he eventually did and we were both discussing how i’d like to be proposed. we thought of the dhl balloon, mount faber, the singapore flyer…. Can you believe it? i was brain-storming for my own proposal!

we joked and said maybe we can tell a different tale to different people. and when our kids ask us we’ll just tell them what we feel like telling them there and then.

but he still had to present the ring to me anyways, so he pulled off this coy little proposal and i couldn’t stop grinning. and i squealed a yes. (the answer was a no-brainer but the moments leading up to it was still filled with suspense! in a weird-i-can’t-explain way.)

oh, the venue? it happened on our favouriteeeessssttt place in the entire world.

so people ask me why marry?

i was reading a book and the same question was raised:

We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.’

i like.

how did your partner propose to you?

Hello World. :)

Yesterday i got a ride from my dad home.

we were turning left at a junction and a pedestrian banged his car with his fist (let’s not get into the technicalities. cause no one likes them right?)

my dad suddenly jumped out of his side to chase the bugger!

and greedy lil (ok, not very little)  me who was stuffing her face with sushi goodness in the passenger seat suddenly caught herself in a crossfire with 3/4 of Singaporeans.

i was stuck in a car that was ‘parked’ in between a bus lane and one of the lanes with noone in the driver’s seat!

i cldnt decide whether to run out to make sure my dad is ok or to drive the car to… im not quite sure where.

so in the midst of this thought-process, i had angry drivers (and a gargatuan bus no less) honking like there’s no tmr.

i had to drop my sushis, jump to the driver’s seat and drive off to some unassuming lane. Called sassy to relay the news and she cldnt stop laughing cause i think it had got to do with the fact that i was talking in such a shrill voice and didnt stop to breathe.

Age caught up with my dad and he finally came back to the car…sweating.

While he was telling me the part where he was chasing the young man while threatening to call the police, i couldn’t decide whether to laugh or to cry.

my dad cracks me up.

don’t you love how family members lift your spirits up when you least expect it?

at night when you lay in bed, it is just you against the world but when the sun comes up, it changes. there are family members to hug, co-workers to say hello, husbands to wish good morning, wives to pamper, kids to make breakfast for and friends to be a friend to. These are the people you acknowledge during most parts of the day because that’s how we function together in this world. So stop, drop everything, turn to an unassuming person on the street and just say hello.

Lunch Talk

There is a story I love about a teacher who told and showed his class a great truth with a jar full of golf balls, pebbles, sand and coffee. Here’s how it goes:

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things in life -your God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions: things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. . . the pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else: the small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend

-Iqbal Zainal